Crawfish

For those of you that don't know, shayla has spent all her life in the north, a Yankee. Living in the south has proved a learning experience in any number of ways. One of them is food. There's a great deal down here that is commonplace, even loved, that shayla's never encountered before. Like crawfish.

Shayla's always loved seafood. Salmon, shrimp, and crab are like candy to her. And she's not the least squeamish about most things. Having worked in the medical field, she's dealt with any number of types of testing samples that would make most people nauseous. She'll not list those items, out of respect for Free and enslaved stomachs both. But there's just something about those reddish-brown, miniature lobsters that make her skin crawl. And the idea of eating one is even worse. Of course, the fact that they need to be kept alive until tossed into the pot somehow makes things even more interesting. She's seen bins of crawfish in the grocery store, the braver ones lifting themselves up, displaying little open fore-claws in defense. And can't fathom that someone would voluntarily eat one. Master, of course, feels that shayla's squeamishness is a bit silly, "they're just little lobsters, shayla" He's right of course (he always is).

However, there's going to be some food brought to work tomorrow. Someone's having a special occasion and they're sharing with their co-workers. One of the items on the menu is crawfish. Shayla's had an opprotunity or two to eat one since she's been here, but couldn't get up the nerve. So tomorrow at work she'll be 'forced' to have one. She'll probably like it, just as soon as she can get past how the little thing looks.

The funny thing was when shayla was speaking to a co-worker about it today at work. A gentleman that regularly comes into shayla's workplace said, "it's easy, you just cut off the tails, peel 'em, and eat them. Of course, some of the braver people, after a beer or two, suck the heads."

That notion was a bit much for shayla. She just grimaced a little and said, "I don't suck heads" It took a second for shayla to realize the nuances of that statement after she said it, while the two men she was speaking with started laughing. Her face turned six shades of red before she laughed right along with them. It's lovely how some of the most innocent statements can become such a double-entendre.

shayla

Unwinding

There are times (normally once a month) that shayla will be unusually touchy. She's more edgy, irritable, emotional, all the not-fun things that are part and parcel of being an adult woman. Being owned, though, all these tendencies are not only unbecoming a kajira, they're also displeasing to her Master. Shayla's learned that it's very helpful to get out and do something physical when she's having a bad day.

Yesterday was one of them. Or, the continuance of three, depending on how one looks at it. All morning she was edgy, uncertain, anxious. Even Master's use of her, something that's always calming and comforting to her even hours afterwards, didn't have its usual long-term effect. So by mid-afternoon she felt like she was on pins and needles, almost in tears, and begged her Master to let her take a bike ride. As he likes her to have two workouts on the days she is not working, and she'd already done #1 in the morning, he agreed. One might think that 2 workouts a day would be too much for a person, but for some reason it's helpful to shayla Maybe it's jut the extra endorphin rush that she gets from it.

One of the last things Master said to her before she left was 'torture your thighs, girl'. Oh, happily, no problem there. As it was cool yesterday afternoon, she'd worn both her sports bra and a t-shirt, but the shirt didn't last for long. It spent most of the trip tied to the bike's handlebars. That's one of the things that shayla enjoys about becoming more fit and more confident under her Master's will. Simply wearing a sports bra openly is a type of success for her. She'd never had the courage to wear such a thing, even when she was in her teens.

There are a great deal of walking/bike trails in the area, and shayla really hasn't had much chance to explore them. So she took advantage of the opprotunity yesterday. And the whole time she was out she pushed herself, set the bike in the highest gear she could get it and rode as hard and fast as she could. Though she did slow occasionally; sharp turns, people & dogs, street intersections, the occasional squirrel with poor reflexes. It'd be a Bad Thang for her to have gone out to unwind only to end up in the hospital, and she's not much for flattening unsuspecting rodents. ;-)

For some reason bike riding has always been very soothing for shayla, this time was no exception. When she was in her early teens shayla would often take her sister's bike out and ride it. It was one of the old-style 10-speeds, the type with the really narrow tires. The area she lived in was full of wash-boardy gravel roads, dusty or sandy ones, steep hills. A couple of the more fun roads had all three of those qualities. Shayla would ride for hours on that bike, sometimes more than 20 miles in one day. Not going anywhere in particular, just seeing what was around the next corner, down the next street, up or down the hill she'd just come across.

Yesterday was no exception. Shayla didn't have a goal in mind, just rode. She wound up finding a long way to a store she goes to occasionally. Something to keep in mind next time she needs to run to the store & still wants to get some exercise. And more bike trails to explore later on. This area has a great deal of trees, so even though the bike trails are only a few feet from the road they parallel, there's still a small sense of being completely away from people.

By the time shayla got near home she was sore, legs and arms both feeling like over-cooked noodles. When she got off the bike she had to lean on it to balance herself, her legs were that shaky. And her upper thighs were aching. That dull, almost pain type of ache that feels like her muscles have all been stretched for a long time, then suddenly released. And not just her upper thighs, but the backs, insides, and the area around her hips. Even her arms, shoulders, and back were aching. Oh, it was gooood, though, coming home feeling that way. Shayla thinks she was grinning the whole time she was out and a while after she came back home.

And it helped, and not just because of the exercise. The rest of the evening shayla was infinitely more relaxed, able to joke with her Master, even. We had dinner, talked, laughed about what we were watching on a DVD. It seems to shayla as though the whole time was more intimate between us than normal. Wonderful. It was 2 a.m. before shayla knew it and her Master sent her to bed, retiring himself soon afterwards. Though shayla was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, she thinks. So she'd not be able to temporize when he went to bed.

She'll have to see if she can do that again next time she's feeling edgy. For some reason it helps tremendously.

shayla

Manners

Not shayla's manners this time, but Master's.

Marcus: There will be lots of times when I'll *ask* you to do something. Doesn't mean you have a choice."

And he does, often. Master's very polite, both when he's alone at home with his slutling and when he's out in public with her. Overall, it's not often that he 'orders' or 'commands' shayla to do anything. It's all simple requests..'Would you get me a beer, please?'; reminders...'have you done your blog entry yet?', a question phrased in such a way to make shayla think about whether or not something she has done is a good idea; things like that. And it's not often that Master asks shayla a question that he doesn't already know the answer to.

Much of this is from his Marine experience, which shayla believes colors his every move and thought. He's said more than once that in the Marines, an officer will often 'ask' someone to, say, get him a cup of coffee. But it's still an order, phrased and presented as a request. But every bit as serious as if it were more bluntly put.

Master's mentioned before that he's soft-spoken, his commands are just as mild. In the beginning of shayla's time here she actually had difficulty with interpreting some of his more simple requests as what they actually were. She's much better at it now though (thankfully). And it causes shayla to be more aware of what her Master is saying than she would be with someone else. Because there have been times that we've had a conversation, and Master will say something like, "why don't you ....~insert whatever here~" The 'request' will be so much a part of the conversation that shayla has occasionally missed it, only to have Master ask her about it at a later time. Though, she's been getting better with noting those little wishes of his.

Another thing is a Master apologizing. Master's done this a time or two. The day he stepped on shayla's hair just as she was rising from his feet comes to mind. It seems to shayla that some Goreans seem to frown upon Masters apologizing to slaves. But shayla's not one of them.

[Good Dog, woman - I've apologized to animals before. Had I stepped on the cat's tail getting up, I'd apologize. Even a walnut-brained cat can tell from your tone of voice whether of not you'd intended to inflict pain on it. There is a major difference between saying "I'm sorry," for some small accidental pratfall, and saying it to admit some sort of intentional wrongdoing. I'm sure there has been a time or two that I erred in some manner in my ownership of you. But the only way to avoid such misjudgements would be to not own you, as I only act like God - I'm not infallible. So, I'm not sorry for them - they are valuable learning experiences. For both of us. For any kajira is expected to obey perfectly in all circumstances - to include when her Master has screwed. How on Earth you gonna learn to do that if I don't err every now and again? See? I haven't really ever made a mistake, just acted as if I had to teach you another lesson. :-) Yeahright. -MLD]

Master has been very polite to shayla overall, even when she is due a punishment. In no way has it compromised his authority or shayla's obedience and subjugation. Somehow, to shayla, it seems to increase it.

Maybe it's because she can sense the will behind Master's requests. Or because they can occasionally be mis-interpreted and missed. For her, Master's politeness more greatly shows his strength. Because he doesn't have to be extremely firm in expressing what he's wanting. He and shayla both know that a simple request is all that's needed for her obedience. Yes, there's been occasions when shayla's erred in her obedience, and at those times he's been much firmer. Those times are becoming less frequent as shayla improves for him.

shayla

What if.....

...your Master commands you to harm someone?

...tells you to jump out a second-storey window?

....involves you in illegal activities?

These types of questions are bounced around discussion boards all the time, but it seems as though they never really get answered.

It's a valid point when entering into a Master/slave relationship. How will your Master treat you? What will he expect? How will you react to it? A Gorean Master/slave dynamic is unconditional. Simply by entering his service, shayla has set aside any say she has. She's mentioned once or twice that he has all the authority, she doesn't.

So going into a relationship like this is bound to bring up questions that normally wouldn't even occur to a person. Simply because it is so unlimited. A person starts thinking about the possibilities and what if's when they're presented with the idea of serving someone so completely that they have no say in what the final decisions are. Shayla did something similar in a phone conversation she had with her Master. She can't recall the question, just knows that it was a ridiculous eventuality. She does recall her Master's response, though. A mixture of shock at the idea, and the honest insult of a person who'd not even dream of the idea that was presented to them.

Much the same can be said about ordinary life. What if the stairs collapse on my way down? Get hit by a bus while crossing the street? The elevator gets stuck and i can't contact anyone? There's a whole mixture of things that could go wrong at any time with things we depend on. That doesn't mean we lock ourselves up in our houses because we don't want a drunk driver to hit us while we're going to the grocery store.

The type of slavery that shayla, cee, and kaylee have entered into is very real. Shayla will not speak for kaylee or cee, but for herself, worrying about whether her Master will take her up on a roof and command her to jump isn't very productive. She worries more about how her obedience and physical training please him, how she can improve upon it. And if Master were to command her to jump off a roof, she has little doubt that the circumstances would be exceptional, and that she'd be in far more danger by not jumping than by doing so.

shayla

Busy

The job that shayla has been working for the past few months has been less than ideal for shayla. She won't go into details, but the place is not as well-run as it could be, with all the attendant problems that come with such a situation. So she started to look for another job. Master suggested that shayla work both part-time, give each place some time, decide which one shayla preferred, and stick with that. It makes sense. Shayla doesn't want to burn any bridges in settling into a position she would keep for a while.

So both jobs are part-time, one pared to just 2 days a week, the other kept at a minimum. Shayla has juggled her schedules in both places so there's no conflict. This weekend was a bit of a stretch, though. A 7-hour shift at one job, followed by an 8-hour shift the same day at job #2. The same type schedule the next day. Tiring, but at least it wasn't as bad as shayla expected. Until leaving for shift #2 on the second day. By then the house'd really suffered from shayla's lack of attention, and shayla was keenly aware of it.

Nobody can accuse Master of being a slob, but housekeeping is very much shayla's duty, not his. Normally shayla is continually keeping the place up. It never takes much effort, merely keeping on top of things. But two days of near-solid work leaves no time to take care of all the little things. Which pile up into Big Things. So it's a matter of catch-up at this stage. It's a good thing she'll not have to do this on a regular basis.

shayla