Steel

shayla: irish to the core...have mercy

Marcus: No.

Marcus: You don't really want mercy. You want to be held to the highest possible standard, the strictest control, the deepest loving subjugation, don't you?

shayla: what i want & what i can have are two entirely different things.

Marcus: That was a yes or no question.

shayla: but..yes...would be wonderful, in many ways...but.....

Marcus: Then quit worrying about how to make that happen.

So, we're comfortable with each other, enjoy each other's company, and this is a very peaceful household. Does this mean that shayla's not subject to him? Not in the least. There is no question as to whom has the control in this relationship. It's obvious from the inside, obvious as well to the casual observer, if he/she chose to observe. Over the past months shayla has become very sensitive to her Master's moods and wishes. Her desire to please him, which as always been there, has increased considerably.

Does she fear harm from him? The switch? Is she unable to leave for some reason outside her control?

No, Master's not once harmed her, nor will he. Yes, she fears her Master's switch, but not for the seemingly obvious reason. And she can leave whenever she wishes, were she ever that unhappy as to walk out of something she's put so much into. Though she can't even imagine that happening.

She does, however fear him, though not in the traditional sense. She fears his displeasure and disappointment. She fears that she will not be sufficiently pleasing to the one she belongs to. And that is the extent of it. Master has expectations of his girl, high ones. In her service, commitment, level of submission. He expects her to do her best in her obedience. So long as she is striving to improve, that improvement is being made, he has no real objections. He knows her fears, her strengths and weaknesses, how her mind and thoughts work. Master is literally the most intelligent, perceptive person she's ever come across. Not once has an expression come across her face that he's not only understood, but understood the thinking behind the face. She's never successfully hidden anything from him.

There are those girls that try to have their way in things. Either wheedle or manipulate their Master to have their way in something. Choose which ways they obey or follow their Master's edicts. For them, that's fine. And if their Master tolerates such things, then it's even with his tactic approval.

Shayla does not have that 'luxury'. When she entered into this relationship she knew the level of service that would be expected of her. And as time goes by, the tighter his hold on her grows, the higher his expectations.

Master is patient with her, gentle in many ways, even. He pays close attention to her thoughts and feelings. Giving her time to express herself in what she feels about what he is wishing her to do, letting her work through it. While he does all this, though, there is still the undeniable fact that he is the one driving. That she *will* obey. There have been occasions when shayla has tried to evade a command of his, to put it off due to her reluctance to do what it is he is wishing. There are no longer those occurances. Such actions have been met head-on with his disappointment and correction.

A word or look often is all it takes to alert shayla that she is in error. She tries to ensure that he does not feel the need for further action. But she is only human, she has her weak points, and she has been handed a lot of things to learn and perform. Much of this is still very new to her. And it's only been 3 months. There are occasions when she's messed up more seriously than what a look or word warrants.

Master mentioned the switch in his earlier posting. While the switch is not pleasant on the receiving end, far worse for shayla are the words of correction that come with it. Derogatory? No. Insulting or demeaning? Not in the least. No emotional blackmail. Very pointed, very accurate, though, is what he says. No switching received yet meets the unspeakable remorse and shame shayla has when he tells her that he is disappointed in her, or that shayla is better than such actions that brought her the punishment. Because she knows he is right in his correction.

While he is very firm on her during these times, there is always an undertone of caring and encouragement. He *wants* shayla to succeed in her service to him. Such corrections always leave shayla feeling as if she's been handed a tool. One to be used to learn, improve, gain in her self-discipline. Were he not to care so much about her behavior and level of service, he'd not correct her so firmly.

As time goes on, she can see the improvement in her service to him. The tasks he has assigned her over this time have helped her in a number of ways. Her fitness, health, self-confidence, and grace. She is happier, more relaxed, more assertive. One of the main reasons for this is his strength with her. How firm and exacting he is with his slave. Were he not as strong with her as he is, she'd not be the woman she is right now. And she's coming to love that woman more all the time.

shayla