Pictures

Master decided to break out his camera again the other day. Shayla didn't even see it coming, she was at his feet, pausing between chores when he has her remove her shirt, kneel up off her heels, head down, hands behind her head. She wasn't entirely certain what he had in mind until she heard the camera case zipper. After a couple minutes Master had her put on the chain belt, ankle, and wrist cuffs. What followed was about half an hour of picture-taking. While she was kneeling on the floor, then on the bed.

Shayla knows that there are little tricks to make pictures come out better that people use all the time. Ways to move in front of the camera. She doesn't know a one of them. Master tells her what position to take, sometimes physically adjusting her position or hair, & she holds still 'til he tells her to move again. With more practice she's sure that she'll get better at this being photographed.

There's still a feeling of self-consiousness and uncertainty, but shayla was able to do a better job of shunting that aside and focusing on what he wanted of her. It helps considerably that she is able to trust and have confidence in the person wielding the camera. Any time she got nervous she just focused on him & reminded herself that she's not the same person she was. Though some of the pictures he took were unexpected. Apart from the cuffs, belt, and collar, she was nude, and he took full advantage of the fact.

He's played with some of them a little, adjusting color, brightness, & so forth. Shayla came in from running an errand yesterday and he was working on one of her face. It took her a second to recognize herself.

There's little doubt in shayla's mind that he'll be posting, if not an actual photo, a link to one or more of the photos here in the next few days. And the amazing thing is she's not even nervous about it (not much, anyway)

shayla

Velvet Gloves

Master's a very easy-going man. He rarely gets irritated or impatient with anything or anyone. But occasionally he'll show his underlying force of will. Tonight was one of those times.

He'd had a disagreement with someone over a serious matter, and was discussing it in messenger. Shayla was sitting/kneeling at his feet and following the conversation as commanded. Master became more pointed in his phrasing as the discussion progressed . At first shayla did not think much of it, but after a time she became more wary. As always when Master is proving a point, he was calm, deliberate, and in control of himself, but also clearly disgusted and Not Pleased. He was also cracking his knuckles in between periods of typing, something he never does normally. For some reason that made shayla even more edgy.

The whole thing made shayla nervy, more cautious. It's something she's noticed that she does when Master's not happy with someone else. She becomes more cautious of herself and her behavior around him. And she's not quite sure why. It's not out of some fear that he'll take it out on her, because that's something that he'd never do. Instead, it seems to be just seeing his strength of will come into play, the fun-loving, gentle man giving way to the steel underneath.

And perhaps that's it right there. While shayla is always aware that no matter how fun and joking Master may be, underneath it all is the force of will that makes him what he is.

shayla

Negatives

Most of what shayla has posted here has been about things that are positive. She's mentioned frustration a time or two, her feelings when she has displeased her Master, but other than that she's not spoken much about the other side of the coin. Master'd told her months ago that she was perfectly welcome to think and feel whatever she wished, so long as she didn't let it affect her attitude.

Shayla's a natural slave, but she's still very human. She's got 34 years worth of habits and ways of doing things that are now in the midst of changing, morphing into being the way her Master wishes her to be. At times it goes well, others she wants to scream, throw her hands up in the air, and go hide for a day or two. She doesn't, though. There are times that she's got to pause and take a deep breath, others that she's been able to push through the negative feelings and keep on with the duties she has (usually when she's on pushup # 67 & really wants to cop out on the rest). Times when she'll want to do things in a way other than how Master wishes to do it, or when she has no idea what Master is trying to accomplish, and is only obeying blindly, with no idea what the end goal is.

During those times she's learned it's best to just keep on going with her Master's wishes. To keep in mind that it's not her place to deem when or how something gets done. And when a task is done, she looks at what happened, her Master's response, and knows that she was able to keep her personal feelings/thoughts/agenda from interfering with her service to him.

It's not easy, and seems to be something that takes practice. So much of it is keeping in mind what shayla is, and the conditions of service she accepted when she came to her Master. Before she came down to him her focus was on taking care of herself and following her own wishes. Now it's on her Master and status, which is still new to her. 5 months isn't very long, and during that time she's been learning more how to focus less on how herself and her feelings about something, and more on seeing to it that it's done Master's way.

shayla

Nudges

The other night gave shayla a bit of a shock. Master'd called her on his way home from work, telling her to prepare a shower for him as he was 5 minutes away and 'dirty as a frenchman.' Shayla'd spent the day at home, cleaning and dealing with a few things that needed to be taken care of. As he'd said, Master came into the door a couple minutes later, peeling dirty clothes off as he went. Shayla set them aside for a quick moment to see if he wished anything else of her before she put them into the laundry. He was in a hurry, as he had a meeting with a friend and was running close on time. Yet right in the middle of his rush and giving her instructions, he stopped, took a second look at her, and commented, 'you look nice, by the way'

Master's not much for compliments. He's not very interested in shayla complimenting him, as he prefers her to show him how or what she feels. And he doesn't give shayla a great deal of them. She's not saying he doesn't, only that it doesn't happen very often. So that little statement, coming right in the middle of his hurry to get clean and back out the door, stopped her cold for an instant. She could barely respond to his words (if she recalls correctly she even blushed some) before he got into the shower.

Later that evening, as he was leaving the house once more (still in a hurry, it'd been a chaotic day), shayla handed him something he'd asked for on his way out the door. As she was in the doorway he pursed his lips for a kiss from her, which she gave him. Seconds later he was headed to the truck, his slut closing the door and leaning back against it for a couple minutes to gather her scattered brain and settle herself.

Kissing is a very common thing for many people but for shayla it's taken on new meaning. When she first arrived, Master didn't kiss her, nor did he allow her to kiss him on the lips. The rest of the body was fine, but she wasn't allowed to kiss his lips. For some reason she'll never fully understand shayla's also avoided kissing his face (likely to steer clear of temptation, as Master's got very nice lips). It wasn't until she'd been here for a little over three months that Master kissed her. And while since then it's happened with more frequency, shayla has still rarely initiated it, and then only after begging consent. Perhaps it's over-caution on her part, she doesn't know. But a kiss from him, no matter how brief, seems to do more to her than if he'd used her for an hour or more.

Each time some little thing like this happens shayla always feels even more strongly that she'd do anything for him. Shayla's slavery is a deep one, it seems to her as being deeper than the norm in Gorean slaveries. So these seemingly little things have come to have an effect on her similar to a switching. Giving her an extra push, another tool to use to strive to please him better, be more for him.

shayla