Kindness

A number of people would assume that shayla's Master is unkind for accepting her into slavery to him. For holding her to such high standards and encouraging her to stay within the bounds of his will. Not so.

Shayla has met a number of people that have known him for some time, who are familiar with his reputation. None of them have any reservations in expressing their loyalty to him. And he is continually encouraging shayla. Regularly giving her ways in which she can improve in her own self as well as her service to him. There have been any number of times that he's done something for her that would have been the last thing she would have expected, which brought her to tears with gratitude. It is a large reason she is as committed to his pleasure as she is. Were he not as good a man as he was, she would not be so devoted to him.

There are times, though, that she slips after he has been kind to her. Master will be good to her in a way, and somehow shayla will begin to lax in her diligence for a day or two afterwards. She slips in little things, but that she knows better than to do. Lack of attention to what he is saying, missing a request of his. For her, it is the most distressing part of her service. That she is, through her lack of attentiveness, demonstrating something to him that is ultimately inaccurate. For by this pattern she is displaying ingratitude, lack of sincerity. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Master asked her why she did this today. She didn't have an answer for him. And since then she's been thinking about it. At this time, all she has is ideas. None of them are substantial. None of them, to her, ultimately matter. Only that she has been displeasing to him. To those who do not understand the thinking of a kajira, such knowledge is tremendously disturbing.

She is here to please her Master. It is her main goal, main focus. A kajira's main motivation is to please. And to try to please, only to displease, is, for shayla, agonizing. Especially when preceded with such actions on his part which are, ultimately, optional.

So what does she do with this pattern? She fixes it, changes it. Makes it so that these little kindnesses take on import similar to a scolding or switching. That's not to say that she disregards the switch and scoldings, but that she uses these little actions much as she uses a scolding or switching. As tools her Master has handed her. Adding fuel to the fire. Motivation. A reinforcement for her focal point. Which never changes. All she wants in this is to please him. She has never been so grateful to anyone as she is him for the chance he has given her.

shayla