Undiscovered

"Why is it that we yearn to be more or other than we are? It so rarely occurs to us that what we are looking for may be- indeed, always is- already within us, undiscovered." -Toinette Lippe

There have been times that shayla has wanted to begin this transformation before. Made some attempt at doing it on her own. She tried, but was unable to do so. And people have offered to help her along the way. They've offered many times, and shayla's accepted each statement of intention to help. And each offer came to no end. A passing intent, empty words. Shayla does not mean to imply that she depended on those offers. She's always been very independant. Doing her utmost to seek out ways she could improve on her own. And for some reason, it never worked. Strain, lack of knowledge, and uncertainty sabotaged her every attempt.

At this stage, when shayla looks in the mirror, or looks into herself, she no longer recognizes what she sees. It's all still her. Despite her level of servitude to him, she's still herself in many ways. Only so much more herself that she's almost a stranger. She never dreamed that she could be this capable of trust and confidente.

But it's still all her. It's been there the whole time. And for whatever reason, she's been unable to reach into herself and let it show. Master, on the other hand, somehow knew what was underneath. He's taken the time and effort to help her focus and work towards what it is he knows is there. How he saw the potential is something shayla will never understand. But he did. And took the time to coax it out little by little. As time goes by, this process seems to be accellerating. Perhaps it's due to the foundation that has been built, shayla simply understanding what lies beneath herself and letting it grow. For it seems to be taking on a life of its own. She'd never anticipated the levels she's reached. And from what he says, neither has her Master.

So we continue to let the process happen. It seems that seeing the real shayla emerge is as enjoyable for both of us as the anticipation of what will come.

shayla