Him

'A girl is grateful that she was touched by her Master,' she said. I did not respond. A slave's gratitude is nothing, as are slaves. 'Savages of Gor', pg 9

The interesting thing about this quote is the circumstances in which Master read it to shayla. Immediately after she'd expressed her own gratitude for his use of her, just as the slave in the passage did. Master reminded her after reading this passage that he hadn't used her for her pleasure, but his own. For some reason the fact struck her to the core for a few moments. Surprised? No, she wasn't surprised at all. Since the moment she came here, and even before, what Master has done regarding shayla has not been for her benefit and pleasure, but for his own. And she's known it. But to have it presented to her in such a manner, after what, for her, is always emotional, brought it home even harder.

She's not here for herself. It's all about him. Everything she's done so far; the exercise and weight loss, learning to walk and speak the way he wishes, even her name change, is for him. To serve and please him. As time goes by and she settles more into her place here, she is more able to focus on that facet. Sometimes she has to stop herself from saying such things that are common in 'vanilla' relationships. The 'i love you's', 'i'm grateful to you', Master really doesn't want to hear them. He wants to see them, in her actions, how she obeys, maintains what he's trained her in. To him, that's what counts the most, the effort and progress put into shayla's service, not words that spill from her when she's emotional. So everything she does is colored by a feeling of adoration, a kind of worship. Everything she does is for him. The longer she's here, the more she internalizes this. It helps in her serving him.

The first question someone may have is, 'so you're not receiving anything by being there?' Or something similar to that. Oh, shayla gains a great deal. More sense of pride and self-respect. Her self-esteem continues to increase. Learning how to dance. And, of course, any Yank that can learn to cook Texan can be considered an improvement (something Master also reminds shayla of occasionally ;-) ). As well as a sense of satisfaction that she is growing in pleasing her Master. But all these things that shayla gains in the end benefit her Master. Because the better she becomes and the more she learns, the more her Master recieves in her servitude to him.

shayla