Equals

There are many ways in which a girl can be very humbled by her slavery to a man she admires and wants to belong to. Simply the fact that Master wants to own shayla is very humbling to her.

"We do not want an equal, that is not enough... we want more....we want a Master. We want him to be strong, ambitious, aggressive, possessive... lustful, dangerous, dominant....to guard us...protect us....own us.....to see us as his rightful properties..to feel that it is the most important thing in the world for us that we please him.
Witness of Gor, pg 460"

Shayla's had previous relationships with those who were her equals. Oh, it was nice. Both of us doing our parts in things, equal say in everything, negotiations and discussions about everything from how the kitchen should be arranged to where to live. All very equal. There were any number of times that shayla was able to get her way in things, either through negotiation or wheedling.

There have been a few men that shayla has been close to that have been more than that. In many ways superior to shayla. Not only caring for her, but encouraging her, inspiring her to be better than what she was. Able to encourage her to do more than the norm with just a word or gesture. Never abusive or selfish. The opposite was always true, actually. They were all very caring, gentle men. Always generous even as it was clear that it was they that was in charge of the relationship. And while none of shayla's relationships with these men were intimate (until her Master, that is), they were all very close, trusting relationships.

Her relationship with her Master is the same way. He inspires her, encourages her, is more generous with her than any person she's ever known. But at the same time, it has been clear since word one who was in control of things, who was 'driving'. He always takes into account her needs, feelings, desires, even opinions. But it's not her that makes the final choice, or even is allowed to influence it. She is only allowed her input. Anything further is not welcomed. He is, in many ways, more than what shayla is. She doesn't use the word superior, because that implies that shayla is an inferior person. But he is much more than shayla. More perceptive, self-assured, confident. He knows what he wants both out of himself and her, and does not settle for less from either.

Part of the challenge for shayla in being with her Master is dealing on a daily basis being with a man who is so much more than she is. Simply that fact alone pushes her to be more than what she would normally be. She no longer settles for good enough from herself. Her expectations of herself have risen in response to being his. Do they match his expectations of her? No. Because she is not him, she does not know what he is going to want of her in the future. While she knows what he expects of her in a number of things, the full import of those expectations is something she only has an idea of.

So while she's been in relationships with equals, for her, it's not enough. She needs more than an equal in a relationship. A man she can look up to, admire, adore and even fear a little. Because it's in that kind of relationship, in which she's pushed to be more than 'good enough', that she is most happy in.

shayla